poo

I cannot and will not get excited about poo in any fashion. I have never seen poo and been thrilled. I have only treated poo as it should be treated; with disdane, disgust, holding the vomit in the back of my throat as I rid whatever (ie shoes, baby bottoms) of the stench that is poo.

Luke decided last night that he wanted to sit on the big potty. We took his diaper off and Brian held him on the toilet as he said words like "pee-pee" and "poo" and seemed to understand that was the place to do it. I immediately read up on potty training (only to find that it is actually called "toilet learning") and prepared for cleaning up accidents. I did not, however, realize that toilet learning involves being excited and cheering on a bowel movement. How horrifying! The book said to take Luke into the bathroom with me, explain to him what it is, in detail, that Mommy is doing on the potty. Then, show him what is in the potty when mommy is finished and let him flush it away. YUCK! I WILL NOT! I will not cheer about poo. I will not show someone else, even if it is my own spawn, my poo. The idea repulses me in every way.

Granted, I am all about getting Luke out of diapers and using the potty. I am just not exactly willing to do all that it takes to get there. I can't imagine calling friends to tell them about Luke and his poo. "oh my gosh. you should have seen it! It was amazing!" (insert random throwing-up noises here)Luckily, my husband is just gross enough to do all of this for me. Call me a bad mother if you would like. Then call me and tell me that YOU are going to come over and clap for a BM! I will gladly oblige!