2007 recap

So here is a quick rundown of the last year in the lives of the Garvin's, the stuff I can remember anyway.

I turned 30 in January
I was a giant pregnant woman by February
Brian went to look for a place for us to live in March
Brian turned 28 in April, I had my baby shower
I weighed 462 lbs in May
Luke was born in June, and Brian lost his job
Brian had throat surgery in July
I had leg surgery in August, and we put the house on the market
We sold our house in September
We moved in with Brian's mom in October
Luke got two teeth in November
Jake tried to leave us in Decemeber

So now we start a new year, headed to a new house at the end of the first week. I am not turning 31 this year. Instead I have decided to go with something a little more popular, so I will be 22 this year! Luke will learn to talk and walk in this year. We will be getting settled and making a new start in Charlotte this year. I will have 3 MRI's on my leg to make sure that my tumor is not back this year. We will, hopefully, be happy and well-adjusted to our new environment. I hope that all of you have a great upcoming year. We are looking forward to ending the year that was, with it's ups and downs, and getting, what feels like a fresh start. New Year, new city, new house, new challenges, new victories.
Happy new year!!

Am I a bad person?

Today we went to lunch with Brian's mom, brian's stepbrother Gib, his wife and two kids and his wife's parents (did you get all that?). We had the baby with us so it's always a race to the finish to see if we can get out of there before he can't take anymore and starts to fuss. We ordered our food, salads, appetizers, drinks, all at once. Our server disappeared and we literlly did not see him again for about 20 minutes. He had one other table that had finished eating shortly after we sat down.

Okay, let me back up. I worked in a restaurant for a very long time. I know how things should work and I know when they are going horribly wrong. I hate excuses for long food times, bad service, cold food and no drink refills. Nothing makes me angrier than a bad dining experience. I don't get to go out very often and I just expect to be taken care of, not catered to, when I do go.

So back to lunch. OUr server literally disappeared. No one had drinks, our appetizers never came and he never came to check on us. We had seperate checks at the table and told him that as we ordered. Well the first thing to hit the table was my mother-in-laws lunch. No salad, just her food. It was brought by a different server who didn't stay long enough to ask for a refill on my tea (I hate being thirsty). Twenty more minutes before anyone else came back. Madeleine was still the only one with any food! I was about to blow a gasket when the manager came by with some more food. Still no appetizers or salads. She smiled and asked if we needed anything and that was it for me. There were 3 out of the 9 of us that were eating, no one had drinks. I just told her that we were very unhappy with the service and told her what we needed. Anyway, long story not quite as long, we were there for 3 hours. When the server brought the checks, they had all been discounted by half, except for mine. Mine was free. When I told the server there was a mistake on my check he said, "no, yours is free because you were so angry". I realized that I had become "that customer", the one all servers hate, the one you can't please, the one you hate to see coming. I felt really badly but then wondered if I should. I am paying for a service. The server started telling us that he had only been working there for 3 days (which is another pet peeve of mine that servers do), but he didn't have any other tables but ours! The reality of it is that he was probably out drinking last night and just couldn't quite get his crap together today. The restaurant was not busy, at all. Ask for help if you are "in the weeds", but don't make excuses for not knowing how to do your job. I know that I am probably a little harder to wait on than the average patron but I am also an excellent tipper and appreciate a job well done.

I have decided that I may be that customer but I think that I am okay with it. I will just have to go to a different restaurant every time we eat out so that no one will know me as "that customer". I am getting awefully cranky in my old age!

The Random compliment

The other day Brian and I went to a coffee house in town. We were the only people in there for most of the time. Just before we left, an older woman came in. She was very pleasant in her exchange with the waitress and had a very warm and comforting face. We stood up to leave and I headed to the bathroom. She stopped me on my way and said, "You have the most beautiful hair". I thanked her, of course, and we left. I thought about that for the rest of the evening and how nice it was. It made me feel so good about myself that a stranger would pay me such a random compliment. I wondered why this doesn't happen more often. I see people all of the time that I could say nice things to but I don't. I think it to myself and move on. But something as small as that could change someone's day or outlook that they have about themselves. I have decided that I am going to make a point of paying compliments to strangers when I feel that they are necessary. I think it's a great way to make someone smile.

Who am I?

I realize that I am having a difficult time finding my identity outside of being a mother. Women take on many roles in their lifetimes: daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife, mother, partial bread-winner. The transitions between each role aren't always easy but I think the transition into motherhood might be the most difficult one. Before I became Luke's mom, I juggled many roles and they all seemed to mesh into one another. But now that I stay at home, I have traded in my worker hat for the full-time mom position. Being a mom encompasses a whole new set of responsibilities: homemaker, housekeeper, nurturer, teacher, chef (if mixing up rice cereal can be considered "chefing"), dog-walker, boo-boo kisser, and wife. It is so hard to find the time to do the things that I used to enjoy so much, such as curling up on the couch with a good book or cooking a big meal that did not utilize the microwave oven or paper plates.
Brian and I talked about the importance of having my own identity outside of being a mom. We both feel that is very beneficial for a child. It is important to know that you mother has other things going on besides just drving their children to soccer practice and ballet lessons. I want to give Luke a well-rounded view of life. I want him to eventually marry someone who is independent and self-sufficient, and I think that men do learn a lot about the type of girls they want to date based off the example they get from their mothers. I want Luke to think that I am more than just his mother. It's just such a hard place for me to be in right now. I am going to find a book, I'm sure someone has written one, on finding and defining the many different roles that women are faced with. If anyone knows where I can get one, let me know.
In the meantime, I am embracing this new identity as a mother. I love watching Luke grow up and change every day. I love to teach him new things and watch him copy what I have shown him. But at the same time, I have to remember that I am a person that was once not a mother and that i had hobbies and interests and great loves. I have passions that I need to also embrace. I need to remember that I am still just me with a new role.

Please pray!

Just a quick note to ask you to please pray for my friend, Lisa Van Hamme (formally LIsa Doolittle for those of you that went to EC). She is 29 years old, married with a 9 month old baby and has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is having a total masectomy next week and will also have to undergo chemotherapy. Lisa is in good spirits but knows that she and her family are about to face some rough times. Please keep her and her family in your prayers and I will update her progress here. Thank you so much!!

Like the corners of my mind...

So here a summary of the last 4 months:
Luke was born in June.
Brian had surgery on his throat in July.
I had surgery on my leg in August and was on crutches for a month.
We sold our house in September.
Now it's October and we have to move.
For anyone who knows me, you know that I didn't exactly have a normal upbringing. I lived in a bus and traveled with my family until I was about 9. Once we settled in a house we never stayed there for very long. Until now, the longest I have ever lived anywhere was as good old EC. I have been in this house for 4 years. I got married and came here. I had Luke and brought him here. Brian and I have had wonderful times with all of our dearest friends and family in this house. We have also had some of the most trying times ever here. The memories are difficult for me to let go of. I know, I know...I take them with me. And I will but I will still miss this place. This has been the place that I have settled. I have made countless dinners, bottles, and beds. I have hosted chiristmas parties, birthday parties, football parties, and no reason at all parties (those were the best ones). We sat out on the front porch, the back porch (more like an alley), the back yard around the fire pit, and poker around the pool table. It's been a beautiful thing. And I love every person that has shared all of those times with me, and I miss them even now.
So as I put all of everything I own into boxes, I am thinking of all of you and what you have given to me in this beautiful home, and I thank you, from the deepest part of my heart. Let's make some new memories soon!!

I'm Back!!

I haven't posted in some time. I have been so busy keeping up with My Space and our family blog that I haven't taken the time to keep up with this. However, I need a place to ramble so I am going to start up again. There are so many things going on right now that I just need to be able to get it all out and to inform my friends of the events. So stop by and check it out and I promise, I will try to keep them shorter then they have been in the past!! (just for you Amanda)