Congratulations are in order!

I just received an email from Kirk and Stephanie McConnell. They are expecting a little bundle of joy around August! It's very exciting, and for those of you that know Kirk, terribly frightening! Kirk as a daddy??? All joking aside, if you see them or hear from them, make sure you offer your congratulations. I know that the child with be blessed to be in such a wonderful family!

New Year's Resolutions

Every year I do this. I have had the same resolution for the last 3 years: Diet and exercise. One year I joined the gym and I went 3 to 5 times a week for about 2 months. I loved it. I felt great. Then I went on vacation for a week and never went back to the gym. I was paid up for a year and it was a big, fat waste of money. Last year, I started with a basic diet. No soda, no fried food, lots of veggies, fruit and salad with fat free dressing. I got bored and hungry (see previous "gravy" post).
This year, I have once again made it my goal to diet and exercise starting January 1st. Okay well, that's my birthday so January 2nd. But I have that day off and I can't start on a day when I have nothing to do. So here I am already making excuses for why I can't do it. I have also spent this past week packing on as many last minute pounds as I possibly can. I've had apple pie (about a half of one) an entire batch of homemade banana pudding, 3 twenty ounce bottles of Coke (just today in fact), Carrabba's for dinner last night, and a dozen trips to the Wendy's drive thru (it's right across the street). I also had a handful, okay two handfuls, of Hersey's kisses. I'm out of control! I just want to be skinny again. I remember those days at EC, taking a late night trip to Arby's or Waffle House, eating every fried and fattening thing I could and chasing it down with a Jamoca milkshake. AND I NEVER GAINED A POUND!! The day that I turned 25 I could literally hear myself getting fatter and I haven't looked back. I am unhealthy, which is the biggest thing (other than my thighs). I never have any energy. I would rather come home and take a nap than any other thing in the world. So this year starting January 3rd, I will start exercising and eating healthy. I will drink water and take the stairs. I will go to the gym at work because it's free and I will go back to my yoga and pilates classes that I attended for a week 3 years ago. I will do it and I will like it. And I will be comfortable in my skin again! And if I hate it...Well then I will resort to trying to find out where I can catch a nice eating disorder or a tapeworm!

Merry Christmas???

It doesn't feel like Christmas this year AT ALL!!! First of all, I live in central Florida. It was almost 70 degrees here today. I wore a sweater anyway just because it should be cold, it's five days to Christmas!!! I just did my Christmas shopping today and let me tell you that Target five days before Christmas, is a nightmare. A lady with a crazed look in her eye practically tried to wrestle a fire truck out of my kung-fu grip! It was the last one and it was what my nephew wanted. I wasn't leaving there without it. Apparently when I turned my back, she thought my cart was fair game and tried to take it! I was appalled. I let her know that it was no longer available. Once it hits someone else's cart, it become off limits, consider it sold. It was just so frustrating! I had to get the tree and decorate it on my own this year because of the situation with Brian's stepdad. He got really behind in his school work for his Masters and just didn't have the time to help me with it. My sister came and helped me though, which reminded me of my childhood. That was cool. The last reason it doesn't feel like Christmas is because I will not be able to spend it with the person I love the most. Brian needs to be with his mom right now and I don't have any time off work to be able to go with him. We are celebrating tomorrow night with dinner at Cracker barrel (my favorite) and then coming home to open our gifts. I will be here with my family, which is always nice because there is nothing like seeing my nephews open there gifts! They get so excited and rip into the paper so quickly it's dizzying. Then we play with their toys all day.
I know the true meaning of Christmas, I know what it's all about. Don't get me wrong, I am unbelievably grateful for the birth of Christ. I am thankful for my family and that I will be with them on Sunday. I will just miss my husband so very much. I never thought that we would ever spend another Christmas apart. When we first started dating, he went home for the holidays. We had only been together for a few months and he was only gone for three days. It was awful. I think that I will be inconsolable this time.
I'm also having a birthday in two weeks. I don't care about my numeric age, I just hate birthdays. I don't usually have a party or cake. In fact the last time I had cake on my birthday was when I was at EC and Kristi and Jamie Cain baked one for me and the two of them sang to me. It was very sweet. I just don't get into birthdays anymore for some reason.
All of that being said, I do love this time of year and I wish all of you a merry Christmas. I promise that after the new year rolls around I won't be such a "wet blanket" with my posts.

Thank you!

Thank you very much to all of you that have sent your love and prayers. The funeral was Monday and it was a very beautiful service. There were about 400 people there. One of the perks of living in the same small town your whole life is that you know everyone. It was amazing to see everyone come out to take care of Brian's mom during this time. It was comforting for us to know that she has that kind of support system. She has to be the strongest person I've ever known. As difficult as this has been for all of us, she has managed to smile and thank God for the 5 years they were lucky enough to have together. She doesn't know why it all happened but she truly believes that God will take care of her and that this all falls into his plan. It's unbelieveable to me that she feels that way. I don't know if I could. As much as I like to think that I trust God and that everything fits into his plan for us, I can't imagine that, in a situation like this one, I would be so able to smile and believe. She was most grateful that she was with him and held him while he drifted off. She was able to tell him how she felt and that she loved him. Some people lose loved-ones and never get that chance. It's been a very difficult last two weeks and I know that there will be rough days ahead. Brian is going up there to be with her during Christmas break (he's a teacher) and help her out around the house. I will miss him but I know that it's necessary. Thanks again for your thoughtfulness. My immediate family may be small, but my extended one is infinite!

Kenyon McKenzie

My mother-in-law, Madeline, and Keny's two sons decided yesterday to take Keny off of his life support. This process began at around 3:00 pm. For several hours, he was able to breath on his own, but his breaths were very shallow. He died at around 9:30 last night. Brian and I were having a Christmas party when we got the news. All of our close friends were here and we were very thankful for that. They have been very supportive and it was nice, especially for Brian, that they were here. Madeline is understanably very shaken. I could not imagine being faced with that type of decision. She is such a strong woman. She is going through a range of emotion and has questions that can't be answewred. But she trusts that God is holding her. Brian and I talked last night about the importance of teaching our kids about Keny and the man that he was. He was wonderful and warm, gentle and sweet. I miss him.

Latest

We are currently in Savannah checking in on my father-in-law. The extent of his injury is more sever than I realized. He had massive hemorrhaging in his brain which caused a severe brain stem injury. The doctor told us today that they can keep him comfortable for as long as the family wishes but he won't regain consciousness, never be able to swallow on his own, and never have any brain activity again. No one has ever recovered from a brain stem injury that is this serious. My mother-in-law, Madeline and Keny's two sons have been discussing how long they should wait before they take him off life support. He isn't in any pain, which is a wonderful thing. He doesn't deserve to for even a moment.
Brian and I have to head back to Florida in the morning. We know that we need to save our days at work for bereavement leave very soon. It will be very hard for us both, especially Brian, to leave his mother here. Madeline has had a very difficult life. She is one of the strongest people I have ever known and always thinks of others first. She welcomed me into the family immediately and has made me feel as if she was so honored to do so. She said tonight that she doesn't know why God has allowed this to happen to her, to her family, to the love of her life, but she trusts him so implicitly that she will let God direct her path from here. She feels honored to have been married to Keny for the last 5 and 1/2 years and knows that God gave him to her for a season, to prove that he had her under his watchful eyes.
I know that God can work miracles. So if you pray, that is what you will need to ask for. Also, Madeline could use some strength and peace of mind right now, as could the entire family. I am trying to be strong and supportive for my husband, but we are at the point where we are all just crying together. Please just keep us all in your prayers.