Marriage

So lately it seems that I have a lot of trouble finding people who are happily married and I am just fed up, I guess. Every time I turn around, someone I know, who is wonderful and committed to being married, is being left behind by someone who just doesn't feel like it anymore. I don't get it. When did marriage vows become so optional? No where in our vows did Brian and I say that we would love, honor and respect each other when it was easy and fun. I want to slap some people with a healthy dose if reality-MARRIAGE IS FREAKING HARD!! There is no white horse, Prince Charming, Rapunzel-let-down-your-hair nonsense. WAKE THE FREAK UP!! What other part of your life is like that? Do you get up in the morning with cartoon birds flying around outside and bunny rabbits bringing you your coffee? If you do, you better lay off the Acid! Good Lord!!
I get so frustrated with this because I know so many people that just quit. It's too hard. I don't love you anymore. I don't want to do this. COWARDS! All of them. Keep your stupid excuses to yourself and just say this: "I'm weak. I don't like responsibility. I'm lazy and this is just too much work". If people treated their actual jobs the same way they treat their marriages, the unemployment rate would be triple what it is now. It's work people!
The thing that gets me is when you leave a marriage for another person. THE GRASS IS NEVER GREENER!!! Now you have a whole new person to screw over and guess what? It's still not a fairy tale! They still fart in the bed and leave the dishes in the sink and get fat after they have a baby, and they still don't want to have sex with you because you are still YOU! Grab a mirror. Look in it and say this: "I am the reason I am unhappy. I am a coward. I am weak. I am a child and t some point I should learn how to wipe my own ...etc. etc."
Go ahead and tell me to hop off my soap box, but the beauty of it is is that this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. I don't have a perfect marriage by any means, but Brian and I both work every day to make sure that we just get through that day without hurting each others feelings and trying to make the most of the time that we have together and with Luke (Don't EVEN get me started on people leaving their kids! AUGH!!!). We try to respect each other, be open and honest with each other and meet each others needs emotionally and physically. But, we went to a marriage counselor for 2 years to figure all that out. Beforehand, we were just as miserable as we could possibly be. Ya know why? The stupid freaking fairy tale! Stupid! I thought that I would come home from work and Brian would be waiting to rub my feet and then immediately following my foot rub, he would clean the toilets and cook dinner. We would make passionate love and fall asleep smiling. (I just threw up a little! GAG!) And it wasn't just me. He had his fairy tale too, but we ain't gettin' into that (if you know what I mean). YIKES!
I think it is not just a marriage issue. i think that people generally are not as willing to make commitments and stick to them as they were in the "Good Ol' Days". It is easier to quit. But easier is rarely ever better. If you work for what you want, you appreciate it so much more than if someone hands you everything on a silver platter. Life is work, happiness takes work. AND seriously, marriage is work. Strenuous, difficult, and sometimes tedious work. Wonderful, beautiful, worth-every-second-of-it work.
For those of you that I know that are alone, left by the lazy, coward, slacker, so-and-so's, please know that I pray that you will find happiness with someone willing to work as hard as you have. Know that there is only so much that you can control and don't blame yourselves. You were committed. You did all you could. Know that I also pray that those that have left you will be plagued with rashes and body hair, bad breath and Man-boobs. But know this too. Chances are, they already know how badly they screwed up and their stupid pride won't let them tell you so I will do it for you. Friends-THEY SCREWED UP!! (I love you and you all know who you are!)