Before Luke was born, Brian was in school getting his MBA. He had class ever Thursday night and I loved it. He was gone before I got home from work and I was usually in bed before he got home. I planned every Thursday night meticulously. I would stop on my way home from work and pick up some dinner, change into my PJ's as soon as I got home and spend the evening catching up on the shows I had recorded all week. I rarely ever answered my phone if it rang. When I was pregnant, I would sit and read books about babies. I had a whole night just to do whatever I wanted. I was alone and it was amazing. I love being around people but those Thursdays were wonderful times for me.
Now I am faced with a whole different situation. I am alone, and lonely. Since we have been in Charlotte, I have learned what it is to really be lonely. I don't know anyone, save a friend who just had a baby two weeks ago so she is exempt, and it is starting to take it's toll on me. I am a social person, so when I spend a week not talking to anyone but Brian and Luke, I find that I am striking up conversations with the lady at the store who is just simply trying to scan my groceries. Poor lady. I go days, even weeks without hearing from anyone and for some reason, I can't make the outbound calls. I have nothing to say. I can only talk about how Luke is doing so much. Not every one wants to hear about his poo.
I have tried to force myself to go to a mom's group in the area but I just can't hurdle it. We have found a church that we like and I am hoping that somewhere down the line I can make friends that way, but for now, it's horrible for me to even go to church because I feel so alone in a huge crowd of people. It's a feeling I have never known before and, honestly, I am not handling it well. I need companionship. I need to sit down over a cup of coffee and pour my heart out about everything and absolutely nothing. I need someone to go with to the mall or the park or for a walk around the neighborhood. I need someone here who sees my child growing and becoming a little boy and recognizes it because they have been with us this whole time. I need a friend, simply and purely. a physical, tangible, face-to-face friend, and I pray that I can find even just one.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Hey Kathy,
I can completely understand how you feel. When we moved to AZ I had NO ONE I knew. I still deal with the "lonliness blues" but after we got involved at our new church I "grew" some really great friends that have been a God-send.
God knows your heart and your desire for friendship. But sometimes it will take you making that first step. "Scope out" the ladies at church - maybe plan a park date with one who has small children too. Take little steps. Just keep praying. And I'll be praying for you.
Hi Kathy! I can relate to this as well! After we moved here I had a little meltdown because I found myself constantly singing baby songs because Jillian was my only "friend." It's so challenging to meet people! But, over time, I've met other moms at the grocery store, the park, the library...and now I have a few good friends that I can count on and hang with. In due time! I promise...plus, with the summer around the corner you can sign up for swim lessons and meet other moms/babies!
I have been there as well. I really had to force myself (and I do mean FORCE) to go to a moms group and was lucky to really hit it off with the women there (others are not so lucky)... It was really a step outside my bounds, because I have major social anxiety... Good luck! I know it isn't easy... If you need to call- I'm always around... And now I find myself going through it again, as I lose touch with my mommy friends... Everyone is going to different preschools on different days, so it makes it harder and harder to get together!! I hate change!
Love,
Deanna
Hi! I read your blog from The Pate's link and I don't know which church you've begun attending, but I co-lead a group called MomSense that meets once a month at Mecklenburg Community Church on the third Tuesday. We have a morning and an evening group and discuss a different topic each month. There are about 30 young mom's who regularly attend between the two groups and it's amazing how many of them are new to the Charlotte area.
We will be meeting to discuss disciplining our kids (how/what works, doesn't work, etc.) this month and you can learn more on the Mecklenburg.org website. You do not have to be a Meck member or attender to join us and we'd love to have you.
Email me if you have questions or want more info. I'd love to provide more details! :)
Blessings to you and prayers for friends, friends, and more friends!
Sandy Broome (shbroome@yahoo.com)
Post a Comment