ggrrrr!

There are some very simple things in life that just frustrate me to no end. I live in Florida, the retirement capitol of the world, which really sucks when you are trying to get anywhere. At some point in life, I hope that someone will take my license when I shrink down in size so much that I have to sit on a phone book to see over the steering wheel. I went to lunch with a friend today and on my way home, I got behind what appeared to be an empty car doing 20MPH in a 35 zone. I knew that it must be November and the Snow Birds were migrating back. I also noticed the Michigan tags on the empty car. From now until March, I will have to leave my house 20 minutes earlier than normal to get anywhere on time. When this car finally got into the turning lane and I was able to get around it, there was a little man who was roughly 107 years old, with his cataract glasses and mouth wide open, holding himself up on the steering wheel. Inevitably, the light turned green and he sat through the arrow and then pulled out in front of someone as the light turned yellow. The other car slammed on brakes and swerved and Father Time was oblivious. Reason number 4,768 why I hate Florida.
Part of the problem is that I am just not a fan of the elderly. I know this is harsh but I didn't really have grandparents growing up. Both grandfathers had died before I was born, and I didn't see my grandmothers very often growing up. I just never got to hang out with any old folks. I know that the elderly want to keep their independence as long as they can and hold on to the hope that they aren't going senile. BUT there comes a time when you should embrace your decrepitness, slap on a giant adult diaper and move into an adult care facility, or with your children. And start taking the bus, for the love of all things holy!
I have decided that when I am old, I will be more than happy to become a burden to my children and grandchildren. I will demand medication and regular feedings of tapioca pudding (Phillip Bowen style), and sit in my own feces until someone notices the stench and decides to change my diaper. I have no pride or shame. The way I see it, I will have done it for my children and they can owe me one. And if my parents called me today and told me the couldn't get around anymore, I would do the afore mentioned for them. It's the circle of life. I would also take away their car keys for their own safety, mostly out of concern that one day someone like me is not going to be able to control the road rage and just start ramming into them.
An elderly lady had to go to driving school for a ticket and when asked about the three lanes of the interstate, her explanation was that the right lane was for short trips, the left lane was for long trips, and middle lane was for every trip in the middle. True story. Ridiculous!