2007 recap

So here is a quick rundown of the last year in the lives of the Garvin's, the stuff I can remember anyway.

I turned 30 in January
I was a giant pregnant woman by February
Brian went to look for a place for us to live in March
Brian turned 28 in April, I had my baby shower
I weighed 462 lbs in May
Luke was born in June, and Brian lost his job
Brian had throat surgery in July
I had leg surgery in August, and we put the house on the market
We sold our house in September
We moved in with Brian's mom in October
Luke got two teeth in November
Jake tried to leave us in Decemeber

So now we start a new year, headed to a new house at the end of the first week. I am not turning 31 this year. Instead I have decided to go with something a little more popular, so I will be 22 this year! Luke will learn to talk and walk in this year. We will be getting settled and making a new start in Charlotte this year. I will have 3 MRI's on my leg to make sure that my tumor is not back this year. We will, hopefully, be happy and well-adjusted to our new environment. I hope that all of you have a great upcoming year. We are looking forward to ending the year that was, with it's ups and downs, and getting, what feels like a fresh start. New Year, new city, new house, new challenges, new victories.
Happy new year!!

Am I a bad person?

Today we went to lunch with Brian's mom, brian's stepbrother Gib, his wife and two kids and his wife's parents (did you get all that?). We had the baby with us so it's always a race to the finish to see if we can get out of there before he can't take anymore and starts to fuss. We ordered our food, salads, appetizers, drinks, all at once. Our server disappeared and we literlly did not see him again for about 20 minutes. He had one other table that had finished eating shortly after we sat down.

Okay, let me back up. I worked in a restaurant for a very long time. I know how things should work and I know when they are going horribly wrong. I hate excuses for long food times, bad service, cold food and no drink refills. Nothing makes me angrier than a bad dining experience. I don't get to go out very often and I just expect to be taken care of, not catered to, when I do go.

So back to lunch. OUr server literally disappeared. No one had drinks, our appetizers never came and he never came to check on us. We had seperate checks at the table and told him that as we ordered. Well the first thing to hit the table was my mother-in-laws lunch. No salad, just her food. It was brought by a different server who didn't stay long enough to ask for a refill on my tea (I hate being thirsty). Twenty more minutes before anyone else came back. Madeleine was still the only one with any food! I was about to blow a gasket when the manager came by with some more food. Still no appetizers or salads. She smiled and asked if we needed anything and that was it for me. There were 3 out of the 9 of us that were eating, no one had drinks. I just told her that we were very unhappy with the service and told her what we needed. Anyway, long story not quite as long, we were there for 3 hours. When the server brought the checks, they had all been discounted by half, except for mine. Mine was free. When I told the server there was a mistake on my check he said, "no, yours is free because you were so angry". I realized that I had become "that customer", the one all servers hate, the one you can't please, the one you hate to see coming. I felt really badly but then wondered if I should. I am paying for a service. The server started telling us that he had only been working there for 3 days (which is another pet peeve of mine that servers do), but he didn't have any other tables but ours! The reality of it is that he was probably out drinking last night and just couldn't quite get his crap together today. The restaurant was not busy, at all. Ask for help if you are "in the weeds", but don't make excuses for not knowing how to do your job. I know that I am probably a little harder to wait on than the average patron but I am also an excellent tipper and appreciate a job well done.

I have decided that I may be that customer but I think that I am okay with it. I will just have to go to a different restaurant every time we eat out so that no one will know me as "that customer". I am getting awefully cranky in my old age!

The Random compliment

The other day Brian and I went to a coffee house in town. We were the only people in there for most of the time. Just before we left, an older woman came in. She was very pleasant in her exchange with the waitress and had a very warm and comforting face. We stood up to leave and I headed to the bathroom. She stopped me on my way and said, "You have the most beautiful hair". I thanked her, of course, and we left. I thought about that for the rest of the evening and how nice it was. It made me feel so good about myself that a stranger would pay me such a random compliment. I wondered why this doesn't happen more often. I see people all of the time that I could say nice things to but I don't. I think it to myself and move on. But something as small as that could change someone's day or outlook that they have about themselves. I have decided that I am going to make a point of paying compliments to strangers when I feel that they are necessary. I think it's a great way to make someone smile.

Who am I?

I realize that I am having a difficult time finding my identity outside of being a mother. Women take on many roles in their lifetimes: daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife, mother, partial bread-winner. The transitions between each role aren't always easy but I think the transition into motherhood might be the most difficult one. Before I became Luke's mom, I juggled many roles and they all seemed to mesh into one another. But now that I stay at home, I have traded in my worker hat for the full-time mom position. Being a mom encompasses a whole new set of responsibilities: homemaker, housekeeper, nurturer, teacher, chef (if mixing up rice cereal can be considered "chefing"), dog-walker, boo-boo kisser, and wife. It is so hard to find the time to do the things that I used to enjoy so much, such as curling up on the couch with a good book or cooking a big meal that did not utilize the microwave oven or paper plates.
Brian and I talked about the importance of having my own identity outside of being a mom. We both feel that is very beneficial for a child. It is important to know that you mother has other things going on besides just drving their children to soccer practice and ballet lessons. I want to give Luke a well-rounded view of life. I want him to eventually marry someone who is independent and self-sufficient, and I think that men do learn a lot about the type of girls they want to date based off the example they get from their mothers. I want Luke to think that I am more than just his mother. It's just such a hard place for me to be in right now. I am going to find a book, I'm sure someone has written one, on finding and defining the many different roles that women are faced with. If anyone knows where I can get one, let me know.
In the meantime, I am embracing this new identity as a mother. I love watching Luke grow up and change every day. I love to teach him new things and watch him copy what I have shown him. But at the same time, I have to remember that I am a person that was once not a mother and that i had hobbies and interests and great loves. I have passions that I need to also embrace. I need to remember that I am still just me with a new role.

Please pray!

Just a quick note to ask you to please pray for my friend, Lisa Van Hamme (formally LIsa Doolittle for those of you that went to EC). She is 29 years old, married with a 9 month old baby and has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is having a total masectomy next week and will also have to undergo chemotherapy. Lisa is in good spirits but knows that she and her family are about to face some rough times. Please keep her and her family in your prayers and I will update her progress here. Thank you so much!!

Like the corners of my mind...

So here a summary of the last 4 months:
Luke was born in June.
Brian had surgery on his throat in July.
I had surgery on my leg in August and was on crutches for a month.
We sold our house in September.
Now it's October and we have to move.
For anyone who knows me, you know that I didn't exactly have a normal upbringing. I lived in a bus and traveled with my family until I was about 9. Once we settled in a house we never stayed there for very long. Until now, the longest I have ever lived anywhere was as good old EC. I have been in this house for 4 years. I got married and came here. I had Luke and brought him here. Brian and I have had wonderful times with all of our dearest friends and family in this house. We have also had some of the most trying times ever here. The memories are difficult for me to let go of. I know, I know...I take them with me. And I will but I will still miss this place. This has been the place that I have settled. I have made countless dinners, bottles, and beds. I have hosted chiristmas parties, birthday parties, football parties, and no reason at all parties (those were the best ones). We sat out on the front porch, the back porch (more like an alley), the back yard around the fire pit, and poker around the pool table. It's been a beautiful thing. And I love every person that has shared all of those times with me, and I miss them even now.
So as I put all of everything I own into boxes, I am thinking of all of you and what you have given to me in this beautiful home, and I thank you, from the deepest part of my heart. Let's make some new memories soon!!

I'm Back!!

I haven't posted in some time. I have been so busy keeping up with My Space and our family blog that I haven't taken the time to keep up with this. However, I need a place to ramble so I am going to start up again. There are so many things going on right now that I just need to be able to get it all out and to inform my friends of the events. So stop by and check it out and I promise, I will try to keep them shorter then they have been in the past!! (just for you Amanda)

Responsibility

There are various responsibilities that come along with being married. I don't mind most of them, and that includes scrubbing toilets and doing the dishes. But there is one task that I absolutely dread! I cringe when I know the day is approaching. It may not seem like a big deal but I HATE cutting my husband's hair. I understand the reasoning behind not going to a professional. It's not like it is a difficult task. You just take the clippers and shave it up. Sounds simple, right? NO! Brian has a tendency to wait until it gets dark outside (which is where we do the cutting) and then ask if I will do it. It's very hard to see even with the light on. I don't have the steadiest hand to begin with so that adds to the challenge. The one thing that I never contemplated, and the worst case scenario, came to be a few months ago during the cutting process...If you don't feel my pain in this, you have never suffered a bad cut. I had the clippers in hand finishing up the back of Brian's head. It was pretty long so there was quite a bit of hair falling to the ground during the process, which distracted me from the fact that the guard fell off the clippers. It was pretty dark out and a combination of the falling clumps of hair and the shadows from the porch light obstructed my vision enough that I shaved a rather large patch bald...to the scalp bald. As soon as I noticed it (not soon enough) I froze. I stared at the bald spot and tried to figure out how I was going to explain what had happened. Brian, of course, asked me why I had stopped. I didn't know what to say. So I casually mentioned that the guard fell off. He looked around, picked it up and handed it to me very mater-of-factly, not realizing that the damage had been done. I stammered a little and explained that it wasn't that I couldn't find the guard, but rather that I didn't know that it was gone. He frantically started rubbing the back of his head trying to determine the severity of the bald spot, and it didn't take him long to feel it out (it was a big spot!). He was so upset and I could do nothing but apologize. Then I took the route of, "well you know I hate doing it. You shouldn't ask me." I ended up having to shave the entire thing and he told people that he lost a bet.
I post this now because I know the time is rolling in where I am going to have to get the clippers out and I abhor it! I also say this for anyone who is in or ever wants to be in a serious relationship. If there is something that you really don't like to do, or think that at some point in your life you will start to hate it, DON"T EVER DO IT!!! It's dating that gets us in the most trouble. We say things like, "I love this band too" or "I don't mind doing dishes at all. I actually enjoy them" or " I think your farts are so funny!". We try to put that best foot forward and seem like the perfect mate and I guarantee, it will get you into trouble at some point. You'll hear, "But I thought you really liked -insert various words/phrases here-You did when we were dating". And then you're stuck. Honesty is the best policy right from the beginning!!

Congratulations are in order!

I just received an email from Kirk and Stephanie McConnell. They are expecting a little bundle of joy around August! It's very exciting, and for those of you that know Kirk, terribly frightening! Kirk as a daddy??? All joking aside, if you see them or hear from them, make sure you offer your congratulations. I know that the child with be blessed to be in such a wonderful family!

New Year's Resolutions

Every year I do this. I have had the same resolution for the last 3 years: Diet and exercise. One year I joined the gym and I went 3 to 5 times a week for about 2 months. I loved it. I felt great. Then I went on vacation for a week and never went back to the gym. I was paid up for a year and it was a big, fat waste of money. Last year, I started with a basic diet. No soda, no fried food, lots of veggies, fruit and salad with fat free dressing. I got bored and hungry (see previous "gravy" post).
This year, I have once again made it my goal to diet and exercise starting January 1st. Okay well, that's my birthday so January 2nd. But I have that day off and I can't start on a day when I have nothing to do. So here I am already making excuses for why I can't do it. I have also spent this past week packing on as many last minute pounds as I possibly can. I've had apple pie (about a half of one) an entire batch of homemade banana pudding, 3 twenty ounce bottles of Coke (just today in fact), Carrabba's for dinner last night, and a dozen trips to the Wendy's drive thru (it's right across the street). I also had a handful, okay two handfuls, of Hersey's kisses. I'm out of control! I just want to be skinny again. I remember those days at EC, taking a late night trip to Arby's or Waffle House, eating every fried and fattening thing I could and chasing it down with a Jamoca milkshake. AND I NEVER GAINED A POUND!! The day that I turned 25 I could literally hear myself getting fatter and I haven't looked back. I am unhealthy, which is the biggest thing (other than my thighs). I never have any energy. I would rather come home and take a nap than any other thing in the world. So this year starting January 3rd, I will start exercising and eating healthy. I will drink water and take the stairs. I will go to the gym at work because it's free and I will go back to my yoga and pilates classes that I attended for a week 3 years ago. I will do it and I will like it. And I will be comfortable in my skin again! And if I hate it...Well then I will resort to trying to find out where I can catch a nice eating disorder or a tapeworm!

Merry Christmas???

It doesn't feel like Christmas this year AT ALL!!! First of all, I live in central Florida. It was almost 70 degrees here today. I wore a sweater anyway just because it should be cold, it's five days to Christmas!!! I just did my Christmas shopping today and let me tell you that Target five days before Christmas, is a nightmare. A lady with a crazed look in her eye practically tried to wrestle a fire truck out of my kung-fu grip! It was the last one and it was what my nephew wanted. I wasn't leaving there without it. Apparently when I turned my back, she thought my cart was fair game and tried to take it! I was appalled. I let her know that it was no longer available. Once it hits someone else's cart, it become off limits, consider it sold. It was just so frustrating! I had to get the tree and decorate it on my own this year because of the situation with Brian's stepdad. He got really behind in his school work for his Masters and just didn't have the time to help me with it. My sister came and helped me though, which reminded me of my childhood. That was cool. The last reason it doesn't feel like Christmas is because I will not be able to spend it with the person I love the most. Brian needs to be with his mom right now and I don't have any time off work to be able to go with him. We are celebrating tomorrow night with dinner at Cracker barrel (my favorite) and then coming home to open our gifts. I will be here with my family, which is always nice because there is nothing like seeing my nephews open there gifts! They get so excited and rip into the paper so quickly it's dizzying. Then we play with their toys all day.
I know the true meaning of Christmas, I know what it's all about. Don't get me wrong, I am unbelievably grateful for the birth of Christ. I am thankful for my family and that I will be with them on Sunday. I will just miss my husband so very much. I never thought that we would ever spend another Christmas apart. When we first started dating, he went home for the holidays. We had only been together for a few months and he was only gone for three days. It was awful. I think that I will be inconsolable this time.
I'm also having a birthday in two weeks. I don't care about my numeric age, I just hate birthdays. I don't usually have a party or cake. In fact the last time I had cake on my birthday was when I was at EC and Kristi and Jamie Cain baked one for me and the two of them sang to me. It was very sweet. I just don't get into birthdays anymore for some reason.
All of that being said, I do love this time of year and I wish all of you a merry Christmas. I promise that after the new year rolls around I won't be such a "wet blanket" with my posts.

Thank you!

Thank you very much to all of you that have sent your love and prayers. The funeral was Monday and it was a very beautiful service. There were about 400 people there. One of the perks of living in the same small town your whole life is that you know everyone. It was amazing to see everyone come out to take care of Brian's mom during this time. It was comforting for us to know that she has that kind of support system. She has to be the strongest person I've ever known. As difficult as this has been for all of us, she has managed to smile and thank God for the 5 years they were lucky enough to have together. She doesn't know why it all happened but she truly believes that God will take care of her and that this all falls into his plan. It's unbelieveable to me that she feels that way. I don't know if I could. As much as I like to think that I trust God and that everything fits into his plan for us, I can't imagine that, in a situation like this one, I would be so able to smile and believe. She was most grateful that she was with him and held him while he drifted off. She was able to tell him how she felt and that she loved him. Some people lose loved-ones and never get that chance. It's been a very difficult last two weeks and I know that there will be rough days ahead. Brian is going up there to be with her during Christmas break (he's a teacher) and help her out around the house. I will miss him but I know that it's necessary. Thanks again for your thoughtfulness. My immediate family may be small, but my extended one is infinite!

Kenyon McKenzie

My mother-in-law, Madeline, and Keny's two sons decided yesterday to take Keny off of his life support. This process began at around 3:00 pm. For several hours, he was able to breath on his own, but his breaths were very shallow. He died at around 9:30 last night. Brian and I were having a Christmas party when we got the news. All of our close friends were here and we were very thankful for that. They have been very supportive and it was nice, especially for Brian, that they were here. Madeline is understanably very shaken. I could not imagine being faced with that type of decision. She is such a strong woman. She is going through a range of emotion and has questions that can't be answewred. But she trusts that God is holding her. Brian and I talked last night about the importance of teaching our kids about Keny and the man that he was. He was wonderful and warm, gentle and sweet. I miss him.

Latest

We are currently in Savannah checking in on my father-in-law. The extent of his injury is more sever than I realized. He had massive hemorrhaging in his brain which caused a severe brain stem injury. The doctor told us today that they can keep him comfortable for as long as the family wishes but he won't regain consciousness, never be able to swallow on his own, and never have any brain activity again. No one has ever recovered from a brain stem injury that is this serious. My mother-in-law, Madeline and Keny's two sons have been discussing how long they should wait before they take him off life support. He isn't in any pain, which is a wonderful thing. He doesn't deserve to for even a moment.
Brian and I have to head back to Florida in the morning. We know that we need to save our days at work for bereavement leave very soon. It will be very hard for us both, especially Brian, to leave his mother here. Madeline has had a very difficult life. She is one of the strongest people I have ever known and always thinks of others first. She welcomed me into the family immediately and has made me feel as if she was so honored to do so. She said tonight that she doesn't know why God has allowed this to happen to her, to her family, to the love of her life, but she trusts him so implicitly that she will let God direct her path from here. She feels honored to have been married to Keny for the last 5 and 1/2 years and knows that God gave him to her for a season, to prove that he had her under his watchful eyes.
I know that God can work miracles. So if you pray, that is what you will need to ask for. Also, Madeline could use some strength and peace of mind right now, as could the entire family. I am trying to be strong and supportive for my husband, but we are at the point where we are all just crying together. Please just keep us all in your prayers.

Prayer request

My father-in-law had a stroke today. I don't know all the details except that he is unconscious but breathing on his own. He is in the hospital in Savannah, GA. His name is Keny McKenzie and he is the most wonderful man you will ever meet! We may be heading up there in the morning but we are not sure yet.
I will keep you all posted.

Church Search

I realize that I haven't posted about the church search so I thought I would fill you in. After week one of the search, we had a hurricane that came through so we were unable to attend. The week after that, I sinned and skipped church to go to a Bucs game. I know that my priorities are a little out of whack seemlingly, but if someone offers you a free ticket to a Bucs game, the general rule in our house is that you go. Last Sunday we went to a Baptist church. The preacher was a really nice guy. As far as the music, I knew I was in serious trouble when the pastor introduced a new song to the church--"Shout to the Lord". For those of you that went to EC, you know that we wore that song out about 10 years ago. So they were a little behind the times as far as that was concered. Thus the search continues. I did enjoy the message though. It's an interesting process. With all of these trial runs, I am getting a perspective from a variety of different preachers and I like that, for now. This weeks church is still up in the air. We have asked around for different favorites in the area so we are trying those out. I have taken a more open mindset though which is helping me to enjoy the search a little more. It's not such a chore and it's not as frustrating as it was at first. We just have to be patient until we find our home!

Life as it happens

Okay...here it is. I am about to turn 29 on January 1st which I am okay with, but I have decided that I want a baby, much to the dismay of my husband. We have talked already and decided to wait until he is done with his Master's, which will be in a year. We decided that we are going to start trying next summer. But out of NOWHERE, I really, really want to have a baby. I love kids and the best thing about them so far is that I can always give them back to their parents when they smell funny or I've had enough. I have two nephews that I adore, ages 6 and 3. I have 3 friends with baby boys ranging from 4 months to 15 months. I love them all. BUT I want a girl, again much to Brian's dismay. He said that if we have a girl she will not leave the house until she is married and won't be going to silly things like the prom or homecoming. I think this means he will be a little overprotective. I think I am just tired of buying boy things. I can only get so many Matchbox cars and GI Joe's. I do want one of each and have always thought it would be nice for my daughter to have an older brother to look out for her, but I just want a girl!!!
Brian is a couple of years younger than me, which could explain why he isn't quite ready. I know that he will be a great father though. Our struggle now is when we talk about names for our children. We have a couple of very cool girl names but no luck on the boys yet. We have very differing opinions and every time I suggest a boys name he says that he knew a guy in high school that he hated by that name. Every one he picks is either an ex-boyfriend or just awful!
Anyway, I am trying to be patient and wait for next summer. I can, however, hear my clock ticking! And not to mention, I hear that the "tryin' to get pregnant" is GREAT!!!

ggrrrr!

There are some very simple things in life that just frustrate me to no end. I live in Florida, the retirement capitol of the world, which really sucks when you are trying to get anywhere. At some point in life, I hope that someone will take my license when I shrink down in size so much that I have to sit on a phone book to see over the steering wheel. I went to lunch with a friend today and on my way home, I got behind what appeared to be an empty car doing 20MPH in a 35 zone. I knew that it must be November and the Snow Birds were migrating back. I also noticed the Michigan tags on the empty car. From now until March, I will have to leave my house 20 minutes earlier than normal to get anywhere on time. When this car finally got into the turning lane and I was able to get around it, there was a little man who was roughly 107 years old, with his cataract glasses and mouth wide open, holding himself up on the steering wheel. Inevitably, the light turned green and he sat through the arrow and then pulled out in front of someone as the light turned yellow. The other car slammed on brakes and swerved and Father Time was oblivious. Reason number 4,768 why I hate Florida.
Part of the problem is that I am just not a fan of the elderly. I know this is harsh but I didn't really have grandparents growing up. Both grandfathers had died before I was born, and I didn't see my grandmothers very often growing up. I just never got to hang out with any old folks. I know that the elderly want to keep their independence as long as they can and hold on to the hope that they aren't going senile. BUT there comes a time when you should embrace your decrepitness, slap on a giant adult diaper and move into an adult care facility, or with your children. And start taking the bus, for the love of all things holy!
I have decided that when I am old, I will be more than happy to become a burden to my children and grandchildren. I will demand medication and regular feedings of tapioca pudding (Phillip Bowen style), and sit in my own feces until someone notices the stench and decides to change my diaper. I have no pride or shame. The way I see it, I will have done it for my children and they can owe me one. And if my parents called me today and told me the couldn't get around anymore, I would do the afore mentioned for them. It's the circle of life. I would also take away their car keys for their own safety, mostly out of concern that one day someone like me is not going to be able to control the road rage and just start ramming into them.
An elderly lady had to go to driving school for a ticket and when asked about the three lanes of the interstate, her explanation was that the right lane was for short trips, the left lane was for long trips, and middle lane was for every trip in the middle. True story. Ridiculous!

Jake's little cone

Separation anxiety

Somehow we have ended up with a dog that has separation anxiety. He was licking his paw so much that there was no fur on it so I took him to the vet yesterday and she said that he has separation anxiety! I had no idea that dogs could get that. They put one of those cones on his sweet little head (pictures to come) so he can't lick and if it doesn't heal up in two weeks, they want to put him on Prozac! It figures that I would end up with a crazy dog. He hates me now because I was the one that took him to the vet. The biggest problem is that the cone on his head makes him more clingy than he was before. It's a no win situation but he looks cute in his giant blue cone!